The Monster
by chelseatygers
Summary: She was afraid of The Monster, but he had plans for her.


At dawn on the morning of her wedding to a man she didn't love, Kagome Higurashi (soon to be Hojo) woke with a jerk, sitting straight up in the twin bed of her childhood bedroom. Absentmindedly, she put a hand to her heart which was beating madly in her chest. She felt the sweat on her breast and groaned. The nightmares were back, just as bad as they used to be. The Monster still scared her, still had power over her.

She shivered and lay back down, pulling the pink comforter over her head just as she had done so many times as a child. Kagome knew it was silly, but it wasn't yet light enough for her mind to be sure that it was just a tree branch scraping along her window and not claws. Forcing herself to think of other things, such as the wedding to be held in several hours, she eventually relaxed enough to drift back into a light doze. She knew she would not get back to sleep, she never did after one of those nightmares, but getting up was not an option, not with all the horrifying possibilities her imagination conjured up, all involving The Monster.

When the sun was high enough that she could see the light even with her eyes closed, she got up with a sigh and walked the short distance to her closet. Her mother and friends had been so excited that she was finally marrying her high school sweetheart. They had been clamoring for her attention the entire six months since the announcement, chattering on and on about spa trips and shopping sprees for her trousseau and honeymoon plans until she simply could not take it anymore. Kagome just wanted to be alone, and she told them that the gentlest way possible, which still hurt their feelings.

"Nobody understands," she whispered to her reflection, avoiding looking at any part of herself other than her large, tear-filled gray eyes, a habit she had developed early on in her life.

It was true. Nobody understood what it was like to be 'Crazy Kagome'. That nickname had followed her for years, from place to place before fading to a whisper her sophomore year of high school. She supposed that had a great deal to do with the fact that that was when she had started dating Hojo, and possibly also because no one could really remember exactly what made her so 'crazy'. But she remembered. How could she forget?

Kagome had first encountered The Monster at the age of five, a month before she entered kindergarten. He wasn't The Monster back then. She had thought he was an angel. Her beautiful guardian angel.

Her mother had taken her to the park that day. Kagome was at the age where getting away from any kind of supervision was of the utmost priority, so when her mother began a conversation with the woman sitting on the bench next to her, she saw her chance and quickly ran from where she had been playing in the sand and straight to the forbidden area of the park, a concrete bridge which her parents insisted had a troll living underneath it. They meant for that to be a deterrent, but Kagome was fascinated and had wanted to check it out for herself ever since.

Running as fast as her little legs could carry her, she made her way to the dark underside of the bridge, smiling at her success. It was hard to see, but she made out a bundle of rags in a corner and a pile of trash bags. Her brow furrowed in distress at the lack of a troll. Kagome had been telling her friends all about it for weeks and she intended to have proof the next time her mother took her on a play date. Stubbornly moving forward, the crunch of broken glass beneath her sneakers echoing all around her, she called out, "Hello? I'm looking for the troll!"

Something shifted and the sudden sound startled her so much that she jumped, her feet sliding out from underneath her. She went down quickly, barely having time to thrust an arm out to break her fall. Her palm hit broken glass and she cried out for her mother, not caring anymore if she were to get in trouble for being somewhere she shouldn't. With tears in her eyes, her vision wasn't exactly at its best, but she did hear more shuffling. By the time she scrambled to her feet, a humongous stray dog was in front of her, growling menacingly. She didn't know whether to run or perhaps play dead, maybe even just scream. So Kagome just stood, tears falling at a faster rate, paralyzed by fear. This was _not_ a nice doggy, of that she was sure.

Saliva dripped to the ground from its overgrown jaws and the rate of her breathing increased. The dog looked angry somehow, angry and hungry. She opened her mouth to scream for her mother again, but the sound died in her throat when the dog lunged at her. Kagome shut her eyes and clenched her fists, hoping that it wouldn't hurt as much as she feared it would. She stood there, tense and almost hyperventilating, for what seemed like hours. Eventually, she realized she could no longer hear the dog's growls. Her eyes shot open and before her stood a man dressed all in red, with long hair such a light shade of silver it seemed almost white. On his head were two dog ears and his eyes glowed gold even in the dark of their location. She gasped. He was beautiful.

Kagome bounded up to him, forgetting all her mother's warnings about strangers and bad men. She was convinced this man had saved her, she knew without a doubt. The dog was there and then it wasn't, and in its place was an angel without wings. She threw her arms around him, drying her tears and runny nose on his red garment without even realizing it. Manners were not what she was concerned with at the moment.

"Are you the troll?" she murmured into his abdomen. "No, that's not right. You're too beautiful to be a troll. You're my guardian angel."

She pulled back and smiled at him, faltering for only half a second when she glimpsed his fangs. He stared at her with an expression she could not identify.

"What's your name? I'm Kagome. I'm five and I'm gonna be going to kindergarten soon, but you already know all that, I bet."

"Inuyasha." His voice came out scratchy, as though he had not spoken in quite a long time, but to Kagome it was music. She grabbed him by the hand, still beaming up at him.

"Come on! Mama's probably looking for me and I don't want to get in trouble. You can come and stay with us because you're my angel so they'll have to let you. Come on!"

She tugged on his hand, frowning when he didn't budge. Inuyasha stared down at her with that same unidentifiable expression.

"You're hurt," he muttered. At first, she didn't know what she was talking about, then he tugged on her hand that was grasping his and she felt a brief spasm of pain. Remembering her fall and the broken glass, her tears started again and she wanted her mother more than anything. Inuyasha quickly gathered her into his arms and soothed her, patting her back. Kagome felt him nuzzle her hair and she sniffled. Although she still wanted her mother, her guardian angel was with her and he would make everything alright.

"C—Can you fix it?" she whimpered. Her angel nodded and took her tiny hand in his, plucking out the few shards of glass with his claws, then brought it to his mouth.

"What're you doing, Inuyasha?"

"Kissing it better." His tongue snaked out and licked the wound on her palm quickly from bottom to top and she shivered at the odd, tightening feeling his saliva left on her skin. Inuyasha laid a single, soft kiss on her hand and then placed it at her side, giving her a small smile. She looked down at her hand and saw she was completely healed, not even a scar was left. Her eyes widened and she gasped in delight.

"Go back to your mother, Kagome."

"You come too!" She almost stomped her foot down but stopped herself at the last moment. She didn't want her angel to think she was a baby.

"Soon."

Kagome blinked. Her angel was gone. She wanted to look for him, but the dark was scary without him. _He probably went back to heaven_, she thought to herself, happy she was now on a first name basis with her guardian angel and that he had said he'd see her soon.

Her mother was still talking to the woman next to her on the bench and Kagome mentally thanked her angel for not letting her get into trouble.

"Want to leave already, Kagome?" Her mother asked, surprised. Usually trips to the park ended in fights to stay and play. The little girl nodded and her mother said goodbye to her benchmate, taking Kagome's hand and leading her back in the direction of home. She chattered on about her beautiful guardian angel and her mother smiled distractedly, mind centered on the many things that fill a housewife's head.

Present-day Kagome shook her head, not wanting to think about The Monster on this day of days. She was going to marry her high school sweetheart and she was going to be happy and normal. Nothing and no one would ruin that which she had worked so hard for. Jaw set stubbornly, she pulled her wedding dress from the closet. She had dawdled too long and the wedding was only two hours away. Already she could hear her mother, grandfather, and brother completing last minute preparations and squawking at each other. She had always dreamed of getting married at the shrine she had grown up in, yet now that the day was here Kagome wanted nothing more than to jump out her window and flee into the forest, away from everyone and everything. Shivering, she caught herself. The forest was off-limits. That was where The Monster lived.

Against her wishes, memories played out in her mind like a movie, bringing all the pain and fear she thought she had buried deep inside herself in a place no one would ever notice. After that trip to the park, Kagome talked about nothing other than her angel, Inuyasha. Her mother began to worry when her little girl began to talk about her angel visiting her at night when everyone was sleeping, thinking some pervert was roaming the neighborhood, but her father just laughed and continued to question his daughter about her imaginary friend. Kagome eagerly spoke about Inuyasha to anyone and everyone who was willing to listen.

The night visits first started about a week after the incident at the park. Kagome had almost begun to believe that it was all her imagination like her mother said, but then he was there in her room, hair shining in the moonlight. His presence had startled the girl at first, but fear quickly turned to joy when she recognized him. Inviting him to sit on her bed, she told him everything that had happened since their meeting. He stayed quiet but that didn't bother her, she knew that he was listening and that he understood. She told him about her friends, her parents, her crazy grandpa, her favorite toys and treats, everything she could think of. Eventually, she fell asleep on his lap, finding her angel to be more comfortable than her bed. Thus, a routine was established.

Her angel never said a word to her, just stared at her with his glowing golden eyes, silent the entire night. She didn't question why he did not speak, just assumed he had his reasons and one day he would speak again. This went on for months, until one day he was just gone. She had cried at first, and demanded that her parents produce him, but of course they could not. Her mother suggested some form of therapy, but her father put his foot down, insisting many children went through this stage and that she was completely normal.

She had made the mistake of telling the other children at school about seeing her angel, even going so far as to describe him, insisting she was not a liar and that he was very real. That was when the cruel and not very creative nickname of 'Crazy Kagome' stuck.

"Claws? Fangs? That's not an _angel_, Crazy. Angels wear white and have wings. That's a _demon_."

Kagome spent the majority of recesses and lunches playing by herself or reading. Unless the other kids were bored, she was mostly ignored. The teachers tried to prevent the bullying, once even organizing an anti-bullying assembly that she knew was mostly for her. Nobody else was picked on like she was. Sure, there was teasing, children are cruel, but she was on the very bottom of the school hierarchy.

Still, she believed in her angel. She knew he was real, knew he had saved her. She had not been hallucinating. She was not mentally ill. What kind of sickness was it when a person saw, heard, felt something for months and then it just disappeared?

It was in sixth grade when she finally saw him again in the last place she expected to find him, just outside her home. Her father was walking her home from school, a habit he had developed once he had been laid off from his job several weeks ago. She was glad she could spend time with him again. He had worked the graveyard shift, so they were always missing each other. Truth be told, her father was her only friend. Her mother was always angry these days, being a house wife with no work experience who now had to figure out a way to support a family. Her younger brother, Souta, was too little to do anything but be a nuisance. Her grandfather was practically senile and nobody at school would talk to her, but her father was always there. They would talk about anything and everything on their walk, well, she would talk. He would listen and hum.

It was springtime, school was almost over and as always, that made her happy. The day was beautiful, she didn't have homework, and her father had promised her a surprise secret present tonight for doing so well in school. She took the steps up the Shrine two at a time, her father laughing and keeping up with her. She was almost to the front door when she saw him. The Monster.

Everything in her, surrounding her, seemed to stop. He was back. Her angel had come back. She gave him the biggest smile she could, and waved.

"Who are you waving at?" her father asked.

"My angel! He's back!" she whipped around excitedly, almost hyperventilating with joy. Her father was here. She would have a witness.

"Um, where, sweetie?"

She pointed to the line of trees where he stood. He was clearly visible, standing out in his red garment, his light silver hair reflecting the sunlight. Her father's eyes widened and he gasped.

"Get back inside, Kagome. That's no angel."

"But—He saved me. He's my angel," she protested.

He turned to her, anger clearly visible on his face. "Get back in the house."

"But Dad—"

"Do as I say," he stated, suddenly calm, heading toward the forest.

She ran inside, not even for one second intending to obey him. Her angel was back and nothing would keep her from him. Waiting until she was convinced her father was far ahead and would not see her, she slipped back outside. She ran to the forest. The sun was setting and the glow was beautiful. Everything looked like something out of a storybook. She followed her father's footprints in the moist dirt, the forest becoming darker and darker until it looked like night time and was just as cool. That was when she saw them.

Her angel, The Monster, was crouching down, his beautiful hair covering his face, but she could still see what he was doing. Her father lay in pieces at his feet, a hand here, a shapeless hunk of flesh there. His head was impaled on a branch still on the tree, deep gouges on his face. She could see the pain still present in his expression. And there was her angel, clutching an arm, consuming the flesh greedily. Kagome could do nothing but stare, not sure if what she was seeing was real or not. It briefly occurred to her that the other children had been right all along, she was crazy and she had finally really, truly snapped. A sob escaped her throat and the tears followed. She could not move.

The Monster stood up slowly. He had finished with her father's arm, and she knew he knew she had seen it all, had noticed her presence immediately. She wanted to run and she wanted to die. She wanted to run and she wanted to kill. She wanted to run and she wanted to go to her bed and sleep, pretend it was all a dream. But all she did was stand and let the fat tears slowly make their way down her face.

"Kagome," her angel murmured, his voice sounding like silk. She remembered how it had sounded rusty before, perhaps her father's blood had soothed and gentled it.

She couldn't look at him, at it. Her limbs were trembling and she knew she was going to vomit, she just didn't know when.

"Look at me, Kagome." He grabbed her chin gently and turned her face up. She almost shut her eyes but found herself mesmerized by the sight of her father's blood smeared across his golden skin, his golden eyes gazing at her with that same unidentifiable expression they had so long ago. He had not aged. He looked exactly the same. Her lips trembled and the tears stopped, she was too scared to cry. She felt sick. She wanted to go home.

"I did this for you," he gave a slight jerk of his head in the general direction of her father's mangled corpse. "I did this for you," he repeated, this time in a much different tone, one that was as dark as his actions.

"Why?" she whispered. Immediately, she wished she could take it back.

"He had plans for you. Bad plans. But I had plans first. He was going to do terrible things to you and I had to stop him."

Kagome could do nothing but stare into his eyes, the exotic shape and color making it hard for her to read him. She felt hypnotized, he was like a snake and she was its prey.

"My father loves me," she said, ending on a sob when she realized she would be using past tense from now on.

"He probably did," he agreed. "Just not in the right way."

Too caught up in wondering what he meant, she did not realize his movement until it was too late. The Monster's face was so close to hers, she could feel his breath. She tried not to breathe through her nose, not wanting to smell how her father tasted. Her mind returned to that day she had met him, when the dog was before her and she was frozen with fear. This time, she kept her eyes open. She would not die in darkness. The Monster did the last thing she expected and she gasped as he gently placed his lips on hers. She had never kissed a boy, had never even really talked to a boy. He even went so far as to place his tongue in her mouth and she screamed internally. She could taste the blood. She could taste the blood.

Finally, he stepped away from her and she fell as her knees gave out. The pain in her heart was so intense she thought she would die just from that. Kagome stayed on the ground for so long, her heart hammering, waiting for The Monster to strike the fatal blow. But he never did. Eventually, she got up, facing away from the scene of her father's demise. She could not feel The Monster anymore, he had left. But she knew he would never really leave. She stumbled back to her home. Night had fallen. Her mother did not notice when she entered, too busy feeding her brother while angrily dialing what she assumed was her father's cell number. Collapsing onto her bed, still with her shoes on and everything, she immediately fell into a dreamless sleep, something that would become her only refuge through the years.

Nobody ever found her father's remains. Her mother assumed he had run off because of their money and marital problems and she was not anxious to go looking for him. They reported him missing, but of course nothing ever came of it. Her mother started a daycare business at the Shrine, and all the people in town brought their young ones there. The house was always noisy and busy and Kagome stayed shut in her room, either sleeping, reading, or doing homework. Sometimes, she would look out her window towards the woods, remembering the peaceful stillness, the cool darkness. But The Monster lived there, and she would not go back.

Years went by and everything stayed the same, until the cheerful, popular Hojo (she still called him by his last name out of habit) took an interest in her for some reason. He courted her with gifts, and at first she thought it was all an elaborate joke, but she eventually relented and went out with him, surprised at how fun it was to pretend to be normal. Everyone who liked Hojo liked her, and she soon had friends. They were a normal couple, even though they kissed as little as possible. Kagome could always taste the blood. Needless to say, they had not been intimate, but she vowed she would get over her fear and pay Hojo back for all the good he had brought her. Even still, with all the progress, there was always an air of detachment about her, something her three hive-mind companions always bugged her about, joking somewhat resentfully that she thought she was too good for all of them, when in reality it was the exact opposite.

And now she was going to marry him. She would be Mrs. Hojo. They would live in his apartment and eventually move to a real house, where they would promptly buy some sort of pet and have children. They would go on road trips and go grocery shopping and watch late night television together and be normal. She would be a house wife like her mother was and kiss him on the cheek when he left for work and kiss him on the lips when he came home. She would never come to the Shrine again. She would never see the woods again. It was all she had ever wanted, but in her heart she felt a shadow of the pain she had that day her father died.

Kagome stepped into her wedding dress. She would not bother with an elaborate hair-do and perfect make-up. She didn't want to be surrounded by family and friends. Always having been sort of a solitary person, everyone begrudgingly accepted her refusals and allowed her to be alone. She had given them some vague sort of excuse about how she wanted to meditate in preparation, but she really had just wanted to sleep in and not be bothered. Why did she love to sleep so much, anyway? The Monster was almost always in her dreams, well, nightmares. She zipped up the simple white dress, shrugging her shoulders and telling herself once again to _be normal_.

"Are you ready, Kagome?"

She froze, her hands slowly lowering from where they were fixing her hair into a simple braid back down to her sides. That was The Monster's voice. She could never forget it. Her eyes shut and she felt faint. There was a gentle touch on the nape of her neck and she almost screamed. His claws were gently playing with the soft hairs that hadn't made it into her braid.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

"Please," she choked out. She didn't even know what she was pleading for.

The Monster kissed the back of her neck where his hands had been stroking and she shivered. "It's time to go."

"Why?" Kagome wanted to scream and run, but this time it was the power of his voice instead of his eyes that kept her rooted to the spot.

"Because you can love me," he said softly, turning her around. "And because I love you."

She opened her eyes in shock and again, his face was close and he pressed his lips to hers. This was the first kiss she'd ever had where she did not taste blood, real or imagined. It was enough to make her open her mouth willingly just to see if it would continue. No blood. Just mint and perhaps pepper. The Monster pulled away.

"See? You're mine. You were made for me."

Kagome was quickly pulled back to reality, the guilt and self-hatred she felt echoing throughout her body. "_No_! I—I'm getting married. Everything's going to be good and normal. This isn't real. This isn't happening," she yelled, hoping someone would hear her even with all the bustling about outside.

"It's time to go," he repeated, reaching out and grabbing her arm. "Don't fight me."

She struck out at him and tried pulling back, but he held her so tightly she was afraid she'd only hurt herself if she continued. Still, that didn't stop her, and she kicked and screamed for her family, for anyone. The Monster squeezed her arm, his claws breaking the skin, and she stopped struggling. Picking her up in his arms, he left through her window, leaving just as noiselessly as he had entered. Barely managing to keep her wits about her before, being this close to her oldest nightmare left Kagome almost catatonic with fear, and without knowing what was happening, she passed out.

Kagome felt The Monster's presence before she even fully awoke. Feeling much calmer now, she idly wondered if he had drugged her. She lazily opened her eyes, wanting to go back to sleep but thinking it a better idea to stay awake.

She was in the forest, that much she knew. He had been running in that direction before she fainted from fright. But where was she exactly? There were no trees. The walls were dirt with what looked like tree roots peeking out here and there. The only light came from several rather pretty lanterns scattered about the large, empty space. Was she in some sort of dungeon? She shook her head, there were no bars, no chains. She was not a prisoner. She thrust a hand out to her side, knowing he was there, knowing he was watching her, but she didn't have the strength of mind to see and instead decided to feel. Passing her hand along what felt like satin sheets, it was a short time before her fingers brushed against hard, muscular flesh instead of the rough fabric of his garment that she had been expecting. She turned her head, feeling almost shy. He was shirtless. The Monster was half-naked, lying beside her on a large bed and she was still in her wedding dress. The chorus of Crazy Train played in her head and she almost laughed.

He was staring at her, as usual, and said, "You're not going back."

"I know," she muttered, defeated.

"You're going to be happy with me," he said, so sure of himself she wanted to laugh and spit in his face. So she did.

"You killed my father," she wrenched out, shaking with rage. "You _ate_ my father! You're a monster."

"And you're ungrateful," he growled out, wiping her spit from where it had landed on his shoulder, far off her mark. "If I had let him live and killed him the next morning instead, I'd be your fucking hero. But I'm a monster because I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Stop it!" she shrieked, knowing he was going to say what he had hinted at before.

"No," he yelled back, throwing himself on her. The Monster took her wrists and pinned her hands above her head, holding the rest of her body still with his weight. "Not this time."

"Please," she said again. "Don't—Don't say…"

"You know what he wanted. Deep down, you know. I don't have to tell you," he said, his voice getting quieter and quieter until he ended with a whisper, his eyes darting from her cheek to her lips to her eyes and brow. He seemed as mesmerized by her as she was by him, a fact she absorbed in something like awe.

"He didn't… He was having a hard time," she whispered back, tears leaking from her eyes and trailing down her temples. She knew, she had known something was wrong with her father, only figuring it out years later with the help of The Monster's words.

"There are no excuses," he murmured.

"Why—Why did you…" she trailed off, not able to say it, the picture of her father's flesh flashing in her mind and making her mouth feel dry, but he could read what she wanted to know in her eyes.

"You'll understand someday. When you know me better," he promised.

"What are you?" There, the question that had been burning in her mind.

He smirked. "Your guardian angel."

The Monster, her angel, whatever he was, kissed her for the third time. Kagome made her decision. She was crazy. That was certain. She was crazy and she couldn't fight it. Everyone had been right, and the stress from wedding preparations had brought her delusions back and now she wouldn't escape from them. She could never be normal, and this time it was okay. As okay as knowing you're insane can be, anyway. So she kissed him back with all her inexperienced passion. He was beautiful, just as she had observed as a child. No one would ever love her like this figment of her imagination, her imaginary friend, would. No one else could love a crazy person. She sobbed into the kiss and he moved his lips up to her tears, gently kissing them away.

"I'll take care of you, Kagome. You'll forget about everyone and it will be just you and me," he said breathlessly, catching her lips with his again.

That only made her cry more but she stayed silent. Eventually, his kisses got hotter and trailed downwards, shredding her wedding dress with his claws when it got in his way, delicate trails of his saliva shining on her skin in the dim light. She shivered. Something big was going to happen, something unknown to her. His claws shredded the delicate lace bra she had spent so much money on, not even taking the time to look at it. Immediately, he attached his lips to her already stiff nipple, sucking greedily, hungrily. Her mouth fell open and she arched her back, wondering why more people weren't crazy if it could feel this good.

Feeling his claws trail up to her other breast, she trembled in a mixture of disgust and desire. He toyed with her nipple, not breaking the rhythm of his sucking and licking with the other one. Her dress now lay in shreds on either side of her and a part of her rejoiced in its destruction. She didn't belong out there, with them, she wasn't supposed to be normal. Kagome felt better being ravished by her father's murderer/figment of her imagination than she had in all her years with Hojo. This felt right, this felt even more real. It was dark, it was good, it was everything. Kagome yanked on the back of her lover's head, pulling him by the hair up to her face to give him a passionate, almost violent kiss.

"Do it," she breathed out, and he nodded. He kissed his way back down her body, stopping slightly longer at her breasts, and she squirmed until he got to where she needed him to be. He slid off the rest of his garment and aligned himself at her entrance. Pausing, he looked at her with that previously unidentifiable expression which she now knew to be a form of primal love, and she panted and urged him to hurry with her eyes. He complied, thrusting into her savagely, and she raised her hips to meet him, ignoring the burning pain inside her. Again and again he moved, in and out, each time coming a little closer to her until their chests pressed together and his face was next to hers. She felt something building inside her, a burning completely different from the pain of before, and when he again attached himself to her breast it grew to an inferno and she felt the fireworks go off in every corner of her body, dragging a name from her lips she had almost forgotten.

"_Inuyasha_!" she screamed, digging her nails into his back, clutching him to her. Hearing her say his name set off a similar reaction in him, and he snarled, spilling his seed into her while biting down hard where her neck met her shoulder.

"Kagome," he growled, maneuvering himself so that they were now face to face. His eyes glowed red and her blood was on his lips, but instead of being afraid she lifted her head and kissed him hard on the mouth, their tongues dancing together. Her blood tasted sweet coming from him and she moaned, craving more, but he pulled away.

"This is forever," he whispered hoarsely, his claws raking across the wound he left on her neck, smearing the few droplets of blood still leaking out. "Forever."

Kagome smiled and pulled him down for another kiss, this one soft and gentle, almost loving. Just like her father, nobody would ever find her, only this time they would probably look. And that was alright with her. Crazy or not, she was happier here in some underground dwelling in the forest than she would have been as an ordinary woman living an ordinary life. This was unavoidable. It was destiny. The Monster was her angel, and he would never let her go.


End file.
